Friday, October 5, 2007

Loretta and Mick




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Loretta and Mick were driving down a lonely highway one winter night. The car hit something, making a loud noise. Loretta and Mick bickered about whether he was driving drunk or not, then they got out to see what was hit. They peered into the darkness, seeing nothing.

Rewrite this episode, showing what happens. You should stick to these events and stick to the start and end point, but you may add in anything you like. Turn this into a scene that unfolds moment by moment. It will probably include some dialogue. Also strive to include descriptions that are specific and sensory.

Keep it short, preferably under 500 words.
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For Mick, driving was a necessary evil and he always viewed it as a banal chore he had to do in order to get from point A to point B. Driving an automobile was something he had never really mastered and driving tonight seemed like a chore he really didn't want to tackle. He could feel the anger rising up within him as he turned the radio to a station that he knew that Loretta would detest. But what made him even more vehement was that she just slept right through his futile passive aggressive attempts of re-starting the argument they have had an hour earlier. Her sleep was deep and quiet without a hint of anger; it was almost peaceful. This somehow made him angrier as he could feel the night creeping in on him, the deafening sound of absolute silence.

Usually he would enjoy a drive such as this, as a crescent moon had risen in his his rear view mirror but at this time of night and his unexpected agitated state it rudely reminded him that it was very late at night. He felt more alone than he had in a long time as the weight of their crumbling relationship inched into the front right seat beside him, uninvited and rather unexpected. The silence returned again only louder.

He hated driving, but driving in Delaware was a serious problem for especially on a night like this. Everything looked the same in the day light with sorry, unnamed chicken coops lining every road and like the settlers of old only the sunrise and sunset to give a true sense of direction. Tonight he had neither, and had to settle for road signs that headed him toward the town of Seaford.

He approached a blinking light that he could see for minutes at a time and out of the corner of his eye he could hear a dull, thick crunch and wobble of his driver side left wheel. What raced uncomfortably through his mind was what could he possibly have hit in the middle of nowhere? For some reason, he turned on the radio station that Loretta hated and went out an looked for carnage on the road almost half wanting to find it face up dead and twisted so that his imagination had not won.

Three miles from home. the crescent moon hung lazily above him and Loretta emerged almost ghost like into a silent darkness that could not be broken. A salty gentle wind off the bay caught his attention as it felt like it was going to rain soon. The clear moon hinted no, but tonight it wasn't about instinct but merely survival. Mick mumbled, I think I hit something. His words were unusually crisp and dry.

Mick recognized the rising in her left eyebrow in the subtle light as a look of disbelief he had known all too well. He had an overwhelming feeling of being starkly alone as she slid into the car as she insisted that she should drive.

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